Trauma and Alcoholism

Hey Beautiful,

Welcome back. Today I want to tackle an all-too-common form of dealing with trauma- Alcoholism.

If you're here, you probably know that the pain post-trauma is often more unbearable than whatever the trauma is. In the sense that you feel you're always trapped in that moment.

The feelings, memories, and emotions of that part of your life feel like they are on an endless loop, repeatedly showing up for what feels like all day, every day.

Maybe that's why many of us turn to things like alcohol to cope.

For me, drinking felt like a way to stop the loop. The buzz feeling felt like I was getting to call a time-out and step into another dimension where I could feel safe for an evening.

In fact, it felt like such a safe place it took me a long time to realize (let alone accept that I had developed a problem)

What had started out as something I could do for "myself" to just relax after a long day turned into something I had to do to deal with even the smallest inconveniences.

And even when people close to me started to call me out, I didn't feel the slightest bit of remorse.

I just knew that they didn't know what it was like in my head. They didn't know that this WAS me trying to be better and cope. They didn't know I had attempted suicide multiple times and that this was actually a step UP.

But alas, coping habits always give you results, and my drinking habit was starting to produce some very noticeable ones.

My house was starting to look like crap. If I tried even going a day without drinking, my hands would start shaking. I began to feel pain in my kidneys, and my depression and anxiety got worst than they had ever been.

But even that couldn't stop me from reaching for the martinis.

Do you know what finally did it for me?

My skin. I've always been obsessed with skincare and make-up. So when I noticed my skin getting blotchy and how no amount of make-up could give me the glow I'd worked so hard to achieve, I said, "Nope. Fuck this!"

And here's the thing, this is one of those "if you know, you know" moments.

I think when people are going through a pre-healing process, other people (especially people who love them) don't understand why they're doing what they're doing.

We have been conditioned to believe that love conquers all. If you truly love someone, you should be able to easily stop whatever the coping habit is.

But it doesn't always work that way.

Yes. Love is probably the most powerful healer. But when you're going through a traumatic event, a part of you is blocked from feeling that love for yourself and for others.

And even though intellectually you know you are loved, and you love, it's nearly impossible to feel that connection on a spiritual level.

And that is more common than you think. It doesn't mean there is anything wrong with you.

So here is what I know.

Telling someone, they should be a certain way if they really love you or their kids or whoever rarely works.

You believing you should stop something because of someone else won't work if it doesn't really resonate with you.

Love for someone else is rarely the problem, so it makes sense that it won't be the solution.

For example, (for me) the love for my family was never and will never be in doubt. The problem was the love I had for myself.

Even though I had already developed a beautiful relationship with myself when I developed my drinking problem, I still had a lot of work to do when it came to loving myself.

And when I realized that the one thing I felt really good at (skincare) was about to be taken away from me, something in my mind said NO. Good skin is non-negotiable. Clear skin overrides the craving for alcohol.

And I know that it's bonkers, but that is what did it.

That was my why. Now that I had my why, I could get to work and do what I had to do to cut the habit.

I still had extreme cravings and irritability, but I didn't care. My mind was dead set on a solution, so anytime I came across a new problem, I'd start googling answers, and then I would just do them.

And the most beautiful part was me getting to create my amazing Conscious Boozer Workbook.

This workbook is 100 questions that I personally journaled to get to the root of my drinking problem.

Answering these questions is what made me call out all my bullshit. It helped me look at my past, present, and future, forcing me to make decisions.

If you are currently looking at you're reality, knowing

• you can do better
• You're tired of not having control
• You were made for more
• You're spending too much money on alcohol
• You're wasting too much time
• You are fucking done with living life this way

Then get your copy of Conscious Boozer right now. There is a 14-day money-back guarantee, so you have nothing to lose.

Order your copy now.

And if you want to hear more about my story with alcohol- check out the podcast here.