When You're Forced to Grow up Too Quickly

Hey gorgeous! Today I come to you with a loving reminder that you are not broken.

For the longest time, I thought there was something terribly wrong with me.

I could see how a big part of me didn't know how to control my impulses or emotions.

I'd break out into tears at just about anything, spend money on anything I could, and eat pretty much anything I could get my hands on.

I felt like I had no control. I acted like I wasn't in control, and eventually, I lost control.

I became obese, got over 20k into debt, and had no genuine relationships.

And I always wondered, "How did I get here?"

Growing up, I was always the good girl. I was a straight-A student. And I hung out with my mom well into my 20s.

I took care of my younger siblings and helped financially support my family from age 14.

My mom loved to brag about what a "good girl" I was and her friends always agreed.

So what went wrong?

I didn't get this answer until many years into therapy and self-help, but the answer was simple...I was forced to grow up too quickly.

I was forced to do "grown-up things" like looking out for small children and taking on financial burdens. I was also being sexually molested and exposed to different forms of abuse.

So, in essence, I skipped over an essential part of human development.

Because my brain was trying to get me to survive, it had me adapt to those "grown-up" things.

But I never learned how to (become) a woman.

I didn't know sexuality could be good. I didn't know it was safe to say no and object to things.

All I knew was how to take care of others' needs.

Because isn't that what growing up too quickly comes down to? A grown-up losing control and expecting the child to pick up the slack?

In addition to the lack of maturity, I also felt a profound lack of love. (In hindsight, I can see how those two go hand in hand)

I was doing my best to be a little grown-up (and obviously) failing miserably, which meant I was always getting into trouble.

So I carried with me this feeling of guilt that I wasn't being a good enough adult. I felt like a dumb useless kid.

And so, it's no wonder I became a huge flirt as I got older. I was willing to talk or make out (that which would later turn into sex. ) with any boy who showed me any attention.

Eventually, little by little, I lost sight of anything that had to do with integrity. Be it food, sex, or money.

So how did I fix it?

Well, first, I had to accept I still had the power to control my situation. In fact, I was the only one who had any power over it. It didn't matter what my mom did or didn't do. Or what anyone else did or didn't do for that matter. I had all the power and it was up to me to use it the way I wanted to.

I also had to learn it was never too late to bring out my inner child. I will forever be in love with ice cream, Disney, gameboards, and toys.

Then I had to be brave and go in and heal my inner child through things like shadow work, womb healing, therapy, and breathwork.

And finally, I had to learn to embrace womanhood and everything that comes with that. The responsibilities, my sexuality, and my gifts. I had to go back and parent myself.

Once I figured out that it was safe to have my own core values and integrity, I could work backward and start putting the puzzle pieces together.

If you've been there, take it from a woman who stayed there way too long, you can heal from that anytime you want.

Let me help you.

Join the 3-Day Trauma Healing workshop. starting July 18th. If you can't make it, don't worry! It will be recorded and delivered straight to your inbox every night. Day 1 will focus on healing your mind. Day 2, Your body, and Day 3, your soul. I will also be throwing in 1 pre-recorded Heal your trauma Hypnosis and 1 pre-recorded meditation + 3 Workbooks. I normally charge THOUSANDS of dollars for sessions and materials like these. Still, I want this workshop to be available to as many people as possible, so I'm offering it for only $11.11. Do this for yourself, babe. You deserve to live a better life. You ARE worth it.

Join Here

Love,

Edna